Supporting young carers in Poole
Our purpose as a charity is to give children and
young people in Poole who care for a member of
their family every day some respite, fun and support. In the words of the charity’s founder – to enable
them to be “a child for a day”.
This often means they cannot enjoy activities that other young people take for granted. Young carers cannot easily take part in social activities such as after school clubs or meeting friends. Many feel very isolated. School holidays are particularly challenging time for young carers who cannot go away or take time off.
There are more than 200 young carers in Poole aged between 5 and 18. Typically they care for a parent or a brother or sister who is disabled, suffers a chronic illness, has a learning difficulty or otherwise needs care. They do this before and after attending school, college or work.
This means taking responsibility for a whole range of domestic and caring duties such as getting up early to make breakfast, helping a sibling get out of and into bed, cleaning, shopping, doing the washing and making meals later in the day.
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Lilly is 10 and lives with her mother, father and four younger siblings. Lilly is a registered young carer for her younger brother who is non-verbal and has physical and learning needs. Lilly helps her mother and father when they are caring for her brother by keeping the house tidy and keeping her younger siblings occupied. Lilly also keeps her brother company and reads to him when he is having a lie down.
Lilly likes kayaking and hiking and really wanted to be part of a local Scouts group which the funding has enabled her to do. Lilly is now thriving in the Scouts having made friends and really enjoying taking part in the activities and challenges.
“’I love Scouts. It makes me really happy – I feel more confident and I’m learning new skills all the time and making friends. It’s the highlight of my week! Thank you for making it all possible for me.”
Ali is 13 and cares for her dad who has autism. This testimony has been provided by Ali mother: “Over the years, Ali hasn’t had a lot of support from outside agencies and until we came across MYTIME, she didn’t know any other young carers. She describes being a young carer as isolating and unfair. She sees it as a big responsibility and feels that she has lost some of her childhood. MYTIME have been part of Ali’s life since she moved to secondary school. Their activity days have had a real impact on her and on us as a family.
Making Memories days are now a part of Ali’s school holiday routine. Ali looks forward to these days out and afterwards always says she feels relaxed and happy. The variety of Making Memories days is amazing. Activities have included paddleboarding, visiting Adventure Pirates, craft days and sailing. They have all been really fun and she has made so many new friends who are all young carers too. It’s amazing for Ali to be part of the Making Memories days they are all-inclusive, non-judgemental, friendly, fun. Since joining MYTIME, Ali’s confidence has grown. She feels like she has made connections with the other young people in the group as they have all had similar experiences and understand the pressures she’s under. She belongs somewhere and can just be herself.
“We are so grateful to the Ray Smith Young Carers Charity for helping fund the MYTIME Making Memories Days and all the hard work that is put in to support Ali and the other young carers.”
Lydia is 13 and lives with her mother and her older sibling. Lydia has been a young carer since she was 9, both for her grandparents who live in the family home and for her mother who struggles with alcohol dependency. At times Lydia will take on various roles in the family home including cleaning, cooking and getting medication which impacts her ability to socialise and have time for her.
Lydia enjoys dance and being with her friends and really wanted to give something new a try which would give her some time away from the busy family home whilst supporting her wellbeing. Lydia chose to try boxing at a local venue that she could get to easily without being reliant on anyone else for transport. The funding from Ray Smith enabled Lydia to try out boxing sessions and she has found it to be a positive outlet for managing her emotions and having a break from her caring role.
“I absolutely loved attending the boxing class this evening, I thought
I would be scared to go in, but it was really fun. I can’t wait to go again. It has really helped me to focus on something and to help with my anger”
Yousuf cares for his dad who has severe disabilities. With support from Poole Young Carers Yousuf has learnt some really useful skills which help him cope with the stresses he experiences as a young carer. Through this Yousuf has learnt meditation and mindfulness techniques which help him look after himself when life gets tough.
Sophie is 16 and lives with her mum and dad. Since Sophie was 5 years old she and her older brother have been young carers for their mum who has a significant back injury where daily support is required and uses a wheelchair. When not at school Sophie helps mum physically and around the home. Sophie supports mum emotionally and worries about her mum.
Sophie experiences anxiety and had tried various methods to gain support and talk through her worries without feeling like they had made enough of a difference for her. When offered the chance to try horse therapy she was apprehensive but was committed to trying it out.
The funding for this course provided Sophie with a therapy that really worked for her. She has developed many coping strategies through the course that she now uses every day. Sophie can now look to her future more positively and feel more equipped to support herself and her mum.
“I did not have any idea what I would get from the course when I started but as I left the course each day, I was very smiley and felt a little bit of happiness…The horses helped build my confidence. I have learnt to try not to worry about the things that are not in my control, live in the moment and go with the flow.”
Said is 9 and cares for his brother who has autism. This testimony has been provided by Said’s mother: “Said’s brother has frequent meltdowns, and as a result, Said’s friends at school told him that they were scared of him. Said has never been able to have friends over to play and is almost never invited to friends’ houses either. This has caused Said great sadness.”
We were referred to MYTIME in lockdown, which was particularly hard for us a family. At one point, Said had to move in with his grandmother as we were so worried about the impact that 24/7 spent with his brother would have on his own wellbeing.
Said has been attending Making Memories days for the past two years. All the staff are amazing and lovely with him, as are the other young carers, older and younger than him. Said is confident to
chat to others in the group and it’s so lovely to see he’s been able
to socialise.
Bryony is 14 and lives with her parents and her younger brother
who she is a young carer for. Since Bryony was 8 years old, she
has been helping her parents to look after her brother who has physical and learning difficulties.
Bryony helps with many aspects of care for her brother from spending time watching him whilst mum is carrying out other
tasks to providing intimate care for him. Due to his needs, Bryony
is unable to have friends over to her home and as a family they
are unable to go out for activities which had left Bryony feeling
is isolated and struggling to make solid friendships.
Bryony wanted to have a gym membership which would enable her to choose things she wanted to do and give her important respite and time for herself with her friends. Bryony has told us about all the positive benefit the funding of this membership has brought her.
“Thank you so much for the gym. I find that it has definitely added an activity for me to do in my free time. Not only that it has also helped me to socialise, I have been going weekly with some of my friends and find it a lot of fun. I personally have seen a difference
as it has given me a structure to my week and has also been a great way to get some exercise leaving me a lot happier once I’ve finished. Once again thank you for the opportunity.”
Tim looks after his mum who has a chronic illness. Support from Poole Young Carers has given him the chance to do things he wouldn’t normally get to do. With support Tim has been sailing, paddle boarding and climbing. These are all things he wouldn’t be able to do because of his mum’s illness.
Please note that the names and identifying details have been changed in the pen pictures to ensure that privacy of young people and their families.
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The illustrations were drawn by Grace Reeves.